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I state in my bio that I identify as non-binary, but still receive a lot of messages starting with “Hey, man”. I’ve personally had negative experiences on Grindr, too. They didn’t seem to respect me as a person, they just tried to objectify me.” Second of all, I’m not going to let you fetishize me. I had someone ask me if I would cross-dress and let them fuck me. “I think the way that people go on Grindr specifically to look for trans people predatory. But, as Julian points out, it’s a feature that has a lot of potential for abuse.
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Some trans people find the “tribe” function useful, particularly for finding other trans users. The only “tribe” that describes gender identity is “trans”, without any specific reference to non-binary. Instead, you are able to select “tribes” – including “Otter”, “Bear”, and “ Twink” (words typically used by gay men to describe body types and hairiness). You can enter custom options for gender, but are unable to filter users in this way. However, in practice, Grindr feels geared towards the gay male community. Grindr markets itself as the world's largest social networking app for “gay, bi, trans and queer people”. If I see any social cause in their bio I’m like 'OK, you seem reasonably woke, that's reassuring, you’re probably not a dickhead.”Įven on apps intended for the LGBTQ community, non-binary people can often feel like an afterthought. “Luckily, I tend to match with people who seem sympathetic to trans and non-binary people anyway. “I'm not scared as such, but I act reserved in case it puts people off,” they explain. Julian, who is genderqueer, also chooses to not initially disclose their gender identity on most platforms. “At the moment, we are working on building a refreshed matching experience that will create a more inclusive, enjoyable and safe experience that will ultimately lead to meaningful relationships.” When VICE reached out to Hinge, they said that this was an issue they were working on, stating: “We absolutely understand your concern about non-binary users being able to tailor their potential matches based on their gender,” they wrote. It’s such a weird way of asking, in essence, what genitals do you have.” Tao, a non-binary person, says that being asked what gender they wanted to be shown alongside “pissed me off so much!” They downloaded Hinge because it had been recommended to them by their queer and genderqueer friends. On Tinder, Hinge and Bumble, after selecting your gender, you are then asked whether you want to be included in searches for “men” or “women”, which effectively forces you to decide anyway. Often, there are further roadblocks for non-binary people using these apps. “This is a multifaceted, complex issue and we are working to continuously improve their experience.” “We recognise the transgender community faces challenges on Tinder, including being unfairly reported by potential matches more often than our cisgender members,” a spokesperson said in a statement.
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Tinder’s response to Pink News was fairly non-committal.